Prompt #264 – Making More of Revision by Guest Prompter Diane Lockward

I’m sure many of you have copies of Diane Lockward's The Crafty Poet (published in 2013, and reissued in 2016 in a revised edition) in your poetry libraries. Well, there’s great news! Diane and Terrapin Books recently came out with The Crafty Poet II—a companion to Crafty I and another substantial volume packed with craft tips, poems, and much more. This companion to Volume I is similarly designed with the same cover and the contents divided into sections. Each of the ten sections in Crafty II “include three craft tips, each provided by an experienced, accomplished poet. Each of these thirty craft tips is followed by a model poem and a prompt based on the poem. Each model poem is used as a mentor, again expressing the underlying philosophy of the first book that the best teacher of poetry is a good poem. You will find that the model poems receive more analysis than in the first book and that the prompts are a bit more challenging. Each prompt is followed by two Sample poems, which suggest the possibilities for the prompts and should provide for good discussion about what works and what doesn't. Each section includes a Poet on the Poem Q&A about the craft elements in one of the featured poet's poems. Each section concludes with a Bonus Prompt, each of which provides a stimulus on those days when you just can't get your engine started.” 
 

In order to give you a small sampling of the new book, Diane Lockward is our guest blogger this week with a prompt that addresses the process of revision (and we all know how challenging effective revision can be). The suggestions posted here are only some of those in the book.

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From The Crafty Poet II , Craft Tip #29 – Making More of Revision by Diane Lockward    

During revision discussions, we poets hear a lot about compression, reducing clutter, and cutting out the non-essential. Who hasn’t sat in a poetry class or workshop and been told that less is more? So when someone tells us to add more, to expand, to keep going, we might be hesitant to pay attention.
 

But we should pay attention. The less-is-more principle is often good advice, but it’s not always good advice. As I once heard Mark Doty say, Sometimes more is more.
  

Too often we start revising and hacking away at the poem before it’s even fully written. We quit before we’ve given the poem life, before we’ve discovered its full potential, before we’ve found its real material.

Stephen Dunn addresses the topic of revision in a 2007 interview in The Pedestal Magazine:  
 

A fairly new experience that I’ve been having is revision as expansion. Most of us know about revision as an act of paring down. Several years ago, in looking at my work, I saw that I was kind of a page or page and a half kind of poet, which meant that I was thinking of closure around the same time in every poem. I started to confound that habit. By mid-poem, I might add a detail that the poem couldn’t yet accommodate. That’s especially proven to be an interesting and useful way of revising poems that seem too slight or thin; to add something put an obstacle in. The artificial as another way to arrive at the genuine—an old story, really.
 

Before you begin to strip down your poem or abandon it as no good or decide it’s good enough as it is, first consider how you might expand your poem. The following expansion strategies just might help you to discover your poem’s true potential and arrive at the genuine.
 

      1.    Choose a single poem by someone else, one that has strong diction. Take ten words from that poem and, in no particular order, plug them into your own draft. Make them make sense within the context of your poem, adjusting your context as needed. Or let the words introduce an element of the strange, a touch of the surreal.
 

     2.    Find the lifeless part of your poem. This is often the part where your mind begins to wander when you read the poem aloud. Open up space there and keep on writing in that space. Repeat elsewhere if needed. Remember that freewriting can occur not only while drafting but also while revising.
 

     3.    Find three places in the poem where you could insert a negative statement. Then go into the right margin of your draft and write those statements. Add them to the poem. By being contrary, you might add depth and richness to the poem.
 

     4.    Put something into your poem that seemingly doesn’t belong, perhaps some kind of food, a tree, a piece of furniture, a policeman, or a dog. Elaborate.
 

     5.    Midway or two-thirds into your poem, insert a story, perhaps something from the newspaper, a book you’ve read, a fable, or a fairy tale. Don’t use the entire story, just enough of it to add some texture and weight to your poem. Your challenge is to find the connection between this new material and what was already in the poem. 
 

Now go into your folder of old, abandoned poems, the ones you gave up on when you decided they just weren’t going anywhere. Then get out some of your recent poems that feel merely good enough, the ones that never gave you that jolt of excitement we get when a poem is percolating. Finally, return to some of the poems that you’ve submitted and submitted with no success, those poor rejects. 
 

Mark all of these poems as once again in progress. Now apply some of the expansion strategies and see if you can breathe new life into the poems. Remember that this kind of revision is not a matter of merely making the poem longer; it’s a matter of making the poem better.

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Many thanks to Diane for this “taster” from The Crafty Poet II. 

Like Crafty I, this new volume is an invaluable resource for poets, teachers, and students—

definitely one that no poet should be without.
 

To Order Your Copy of THE CRAFTY POET II, Click Here  

If You Don't Have a Copy of Crafty I, Click Here to Order 

Click Here to Check Out Other Titles from Terrapin Books—I Recommend Them All!


 

Summer Rerun #4 – Tickle Your Taste Buds with Guest Prompter Diane Lockward

Originally Posted Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Note: This week’s summer rerun is a guest prompt by Diane Lockward.

  

From Diane:

I’m often asked why I write poems about food. My interest, of course, goes back to childhood. I was a fussy eater whose father insisted that every plate be cleaned. I became adept at surreptitiously getting rid of food I found disgusting. While I had no appetite for vegetables, I had a big sweet tooth. But the foods I loved—cake, cookies, candy, ice cream sundaes—were prohibited by my father who wanted me slender. My cravings only increased. On the sly I consumed entire jars of Marshmallow Fluff.

At some level, perhaps, I'd begun equating food with risk, danger, punishment, deprivation, desire, hunger.

I went to Sunday school and met Eve and learned about the garden, the snake, and the apple. I must have filed all of that away for future use. Fruit, temptation, capitulation, expulsion, abandonment.

I saw the film, Tom Jones, and was mesmerized by that famous eating scene in which Tom and a buxom woman he meets at an inn sit at opposite ends of a long table and proceed to rip apart chicken legs and stuff their faces with juicy grapes, all the while gazing at each other with seduction in their eyes. Food and sex. Of course! 

So for me food has all kinds of connotations. I don't think I'm unique in that. Consider, too, how many of our social rituals are connected to food. Special dishes for special occasions. Romantic dinners. Repasts. And memories. Aren't there certain foods that call up memories, good or bad? And think of the sensory appeal of food; every part of the body is somehow involved. Finally, food intrigues me for its rich metaphorical potential. For example, in my poem, “The First Artichoke,” the artichoke becomes emblematic of a family with its many layers, its heart at the center, a heart that’s fragile. 

I'd like to add that while the title of my second book, What Feeds Us, invites the conclusion that I am a “food poet,” in fact, that collection contains only nine poems that are overtly about food, and each one of those nine is really about something else. Look at my poem, ”Linguini”—is it really about pasta?

Linguini

It was always linguini between us. 

Linguini with white sauce, or 

red sauce, sauce with basil snatched

from the garden, oregano rubbed between 

our palms, a single bay leaf adrift amidst 

plum tomatoes. Linguini with meatballs, 

sausage, a side of brascioli. Like lovers 

trying positions, we enjoyed it every way 

we could—artichokes, mushrooms, little 

neck clams, mussels, and calamari—linguini 

twining and braiding us each to each.

Linguini knew of the kisses, the smooches,

the molti baci. It was never spaghetti

between us, not cappellini, nor farfalle,

vermicelli, pappardelle, fettucini, perciatelli, 

or even tagliarini. Linguini we stabbed, pitched, 

and twirled on forks, spun round and round 

on silver spoons. Long, smooth, and always 

al dente. In dark trattorias, we broke crusty panera, 

toasted each other—La dolce vita!—and sipped 

Amarone, wrapped ourselves in linguini, 

briskly boiled, lightly oiled, salted, and lavished 

with sauce. Bellissimo, paradisio, belle gente!

Linguini witnessed our slurping, pulling, and 

sucking, our unraveling and raveling, chins 

glistening, napkins tucked like bibs in collars,

linguini stuck to lips, hips, and bellies, cheeks 

flecked with formaggio—parmesan, romano, 

and shaved pecorino—strands of linguini flung 

around our necks like two fine silk scarves.

Click Here to View the Rest of the Prompt

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Prompt #210 – The Loveliness of Words by Guest Prompter Diane Lockward

Once again, I’m happy to offer a guest prompt sent to us by Diane Lockward (click here for Diane's picture and bio) from her excellent resource The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop. If you haven’t gotten a copy of Crafty Poet yet, I strongly recommend it as a terrific text designed to jump start your writing process and to provide you with many sources of creative inspiration. Click on the book cover image to order.

From Diane

One of the qualities that distinguishes an outstanding poem from a merely competent one is language that sizzles, sings, and surprises. And yet too many of us settle for ordinary language when extraordinary language is available and free to everyone.

Never settle for the first words that come to you; go in search of the best words. If you don’t begin with the best words, as is most often the case, be sure that you end with them. In your revision process, go through your poem and interrogate each line, asking again and again, Is this the best word here? Choose words for their meaning and their music.

Here’s a poem and prompt from The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop. Read the poem by Rod Jellema and luxuriate in his language. Be sure to say the poem aloud. Put the words in your mouth and savor them. Then try the prompt that follows the poem. Enjoy!

Because I Never Learned the Names of Flowers

It is moonlight and white where

I slink away from my cat-quiet blue rubber truck

and motion myself to back it up to your ear.

I peel back the doors of the van and begin

to hushload into your sleep

the whole damn botanical cargo of Spring.

Sleeper, I whisk you

Trivia and Illium, Sweet Peristalsis, Flowering Delirium.

Sprigs of Purple Persiflage and Lovers’ Leap, slips

of Hysteria stick in my hair. I gather clumps of Timex,

handfuls of Buttertongues, Belly buttons and Bluelets.

I come with Trailing Nebula, I come with Late-Blooming

Paradox, with Creeping Pyromania, Pink Apoplex,

and Climbing Solar Plexus,

whispering: Needlenose,

Juice Cup, Godstem, Nexus, Sex-us, Condominium.

                                                           —Rod Jellema

I admire the wordplay in this poem, the sexiness of it. The language is romantic, fanciful, and musical. Notice the made-up words like cat-quiet and hushload. And the beauty of the flower names. Real names, made-up ones, or silly ones, they are fun to say, to roll around in the mouth.

Notice the sound devices, e.g., the alliteration in Buttertongues, Belly buttons and Bluelets. And the rhyming of Paradox, Apoplex, Plexus, Nexus, Sex-us. Wouldn’t it be lovely to be that Sleeper and have someone whispering all this into your ear as you nod off?

Choose a category, perhaps fruits, vegetables, birds, or fish. Or choose something within the category, e.g., apples, beans, or lettuces—something that has variety. Then create a bank of words with great sounds, some rhyming words, some near rhyming words. Let some of those words be nouns, some verbs, a few adjectives. Make up some of the words. Make your word choices delicious.

Imagine an auditor. (This is a key ingredient in creating a strong voice.)

Then begin your draft with Because I never learned the names of __________.

Drawing from your word hoard, write a poem delivered very privately to your auditor.

In revision change your poem to make it uniquely yours. 

You might want to check out these contemporary poems, all of which do wonderful things with language. 

"Peaches" by Peter Davidson

"Ode on Dictionaries" by Barbara Hamby

"Ode to the Potato" by Barbara Hamby

"Fever" by Hailey Leithauser

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Thank you, Diane!

Be sure to visit Diane online at www.dianelockward.com.

Finding the Right Words by Guest Blogger Diane Lockward

This week’s guest blogger, Diane Lockward, will be familiar to many of you from previous posts.  Diane shares craft tip #5, which she wrote for her book The Crafty Poet. This tip for poets focuses on language and the process of finding the right words for your poems.

Note: The Crafty Poet is a poetry tutorial designed to inform and inspire poets. It contains model poems with prompts, writing tips, and interviews contributed by fifty-six poets, including thirteen former and current state Poets Laureate. There are also sample poems from an additional forty-five poets. The book has been named a Best Book for Writers by Poets & Writers (Poets & Writers Best Books) and is geared to both experienced and aspiring poets. I recommend it highly as a perfect present for the poets on your holiday gift list.

From Diane Lockward

One of the qualities that distinguishes an outstanding poem from a merely competent one is language that sizzles, sings, and surprises. And yet too many of us settle for ordinary language when extraordinary language is available and free to everyone.

Consider the diction of John Donne in "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning." The poet startles us by using mathematical language to describe two lovers: If they be two they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two; / Thy soul the fixed foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if th’ other do. In another love poem, "The Good-Morrow," Donne pulls diction from the field of cartography: Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone; / Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown; / Let us possess one world; each hath one, and is one. Donne often fused together language from two seemingly unrelated fields. If you haven’t tried this yet, why not?

Consider, too, the diction of Gerard Manley Hopkins in "Pied Beauty" where the speaker gives thanks for dappled things— / For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; / For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim… Such language is delicious in our mouths and a joy to speak aloud.

For a more contemporary voice, listen to Sharon Olds in "One Year" as the speaker describes a visit to her father’s grave: I saw the speedwell on the ground with its horns, / the coiled ferns, copper-beech blossoms, each / petal like that disc of matter which / swayed, on the last day, on his tongue. / Tamarack, Western hemlock, / manzanita, water birch / with its scored bark… Notice the precision of the language. No vague tree for this poet but rather the specific names of trees, each one of them adding more music, interest, and imagery to the poem. Olds, like her predecessors, never settles for easy language.

Nor should you settle for the first words that come to you; go in search of the best words. But where to find those best words? You might start with the catalogs, unordered and unwanted, that fill up your mailbox. Don’t be so fast to toss them out. Some of them may contain new vocabulary for your poems. Hang on to that flower brochure, the Harry and David catalog, the circular full of ads for local restaurants.

A simple Google search will often lead you to specialized websites where you can find a feast of language. Let’s say you’re writing a poem about blueberries. Googling just might lead you to the website for the Gierke Blueberry Farm in Michigan and then to esoteric information about blueberries, some tasty recipes, and words like cultivars, domesticated, antioxidant, and these lovely names of different kinds of blueberries: Rabbiteye, Primadonna, Sapphire, and Snowchaser.

Wikipedia is a great online source for new diction. Let’s say you’re writing a poem about a frog. Take a piece of paper with you to the computer and search Wikipedia for “frog.” As you read through relevant articles, jot down words such as carnivorous, amphibian, proto-frog, vertebrate, glandular, and planktivorous. Use some of those words in your poem.

Keep your eyes and ears open. And, of course, keep a notebook where you store words you’ve discovered in catalogs, articles, and books, as well as words you’ve heard on the street, on TV, in a speech. You never know when you might need those words. They might generate a new poem or they might reinvigorate a failed draft.

Example Poem:

Diane notes that her poem “Blueberry” was written with the assistance of the kind of diction search she described in this craft tip. Click Here to Read "Blueberry" by Diane Lockward

To order The Crafty Poet, click here! 

(I'm giving this book to several poet and teacher friends this Christmas.)

Thank you, Diane!

Prompt #166 – Word Chain Poem by Guest Prompter Diane Lockward

This week’s prompt is from guest blogger Diane Lockward. Diane is the author of three poetry books, most recently, Temptation by Water. Her previous books are What Feeds Us, which received the 2006 Quentin R. Howard Poetry Prize, and Eve's Red Dress. She is also the author of two chapbooks, Against Perfection and Greatest Hits: 1997-2010. Her poems have been published in numerous journals and included in such anthologies as Poetry Daily: 360 Poems from the World's Most Popular Poetry Website and Garrison Keillor's Good Poems for Hard Times. She is the recipient of a NJ State Arts Council Poetry Fellowship and has received awards from North American Review, Louisiana Literature, and Journal of NJ Poets. Her newest book, The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop, was recently released by Wind Publications. The book includes helpful tips for writing poetry contributed by 56 distinguished poets, along with 27 model poems and prompts with 2 sample poems for each. 

Please note that you can order The Crafty Poet from the right sidebar by scrolling down to the book cover and clicking on it.

Be Sure to Visit Diane’s Website: www.dianelockward.com

and Her Author Page at Amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/Diane-Lockward/e/B001K7W3U2

Diane:

The following prompt is one of ten bonus prompts in my new book, The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop. While the other prompts in the book are more complex and focused on craft techniques, the bonus prompts are quick and easy. They are also inexhaustible, that is, you can use them over and over again. You should never again find yourself at the desk with nothing to say.

The Word Chain Poem

Choose one word that you like the sound of. Be sure it has at least two syllables. Suggestions: purple, silver, yellow. I like colors because they immediately bring in the visual. But don’t feel limited to colors.

Now put your word on the top line of your paper, all the way to the right.

Jumping off that lead word, quickly brainstorm a list of words with similar sounds. Avoid exact rhymes. One word per line. Each single word should lead to the next. Do not go back to the original word. If you include only words with the same initial sound, this will result in nice alliteration in the poem you write. But this is an option, not a requirement.

Example:

                                                                                              purple

                                                                                              plump

                                                                                              plum

                                                                                              palm

                                                                                              plummet 

                                                                                              pudding

Try to get at least ten words.

Now write a poem consisting of as many lines as you have words. Your first line will end with the first word in your list, the second line will end with the second word, and so on. Using the above example, line 1 will end with purple, line 2 will end with plump, and so on.

You should end up with a first draft that has some promising sounds, not exact rhymes but near rhymes.

Sample Poem:

Note from Diane: The list of words above is the beginning of the list I created for my own poem, "Love Song with Plum." As you read the poem, you'll see that I stuck with all "p" words, but remember that that's an option, not a requirement. Although I did not include my entire list here, from what I did include, you can see that I didn't stick one hundred percent to the original order of the words. During revision I moved some words around. I seem to recall that I also added some words not in the original list. What I'm sure of is that I had a good time writing this poem. I hope you have a good time writing yours.

LOVE SONG WITH PLUM

by Diane Lockward

I take what he offers, a plum,
round and plump,
deeper than amethyst purple.
I lift the fruit from his palm.
Like Little Jack Horner, I want it in a pie,
my thumb stuck in to pluck
out that plum.
I want it baked in a pudding,
served post-prandial,
drenched in something potable,
and set on fire, to sit across from him and say, Pass
the pudding, please.
Spread on our morning toast, dollops of plum preserves,
and when we grow old, a bowl of prunes,
which, after all, are nothing more than withered plums.
But today the air is scented with plumeria,
and at this particular fruit stand, I’m plumb
loco in love with the plumiest
man. Festooned with peacock plumes
and swaddled in the plumage
of my happiness, I want to stand at the perimeter
of this plum-luscious
earth, sink a plumb
line for balance, then plummet
like a bird on fire, placate
all my desires, my implacable
hunger for the ripeness of my sweetheart’s plum.

Thank you, Diane, for sharing with us!

Prompt #129 – Something A Little Different

I was recently honored by poet Diane Lockward when she included “Snake Lady” from What Matters as the prompt model for her December newsletter. I found it immensely interesting to read another poet’s analysis of my poem and then to see how she used the poem to develop a prompt for her readers. I’m happy to share it with you and thought that, in lieu of our usual format, you might enjoy working with Diane’s prompt this week. 

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From Diane Lockward’s Poetry Newsletter,

Copyright © 2012 Poetry Newsletter. All rights reserved.

Reprinted by permission of Diane Lockward.

This month's poem comes from Adele Kenny who previously contributed a Craft Tip on imagery. The poem is from Adele's new book, What Matters.

Snake Lady       

She was the main event when

     the carnival came to town.

Fourteen and oh, so young,

     we stood inside her tent with

boys who spoke among themselves

     of things that made them men.

Had we been older, we might

     have understood – their helpless

fascination as the snake slid

     between her breasts and made its

thick descent along her thighs.

     Those boys never blinked until

her fingers stroked the coils

   

straight, tightened on the head,

     and coaxed it to a sudden milky

venom. With an innocence we

     didn’t think we had, we blushed

and turned from the sure and

     easy way she made them burn.

Adele's poem initially appears simple enough. The speaker describes a memory of something she observed when she was 14. However, the poet has built in several layers of complication. The speaker does not merely observe the scene; she observes someone else observing it. Then instead of using first person singular, the poet uses first person plural; a group of girls observes a group of boys observing an action. The poet also recounts the incident from the distance of Time. The speaker is no longer on the threshold of adolescence but is an adult looking back on the scene. As such, she can have perceptions that the 14-year-old girl could not have had. Finally, the entire poem rests on a metaphor, a very sexy one, indeed!

Let's see if we can do something similar. Let's begin with a simple draft and then add layers of complication.

First, choose a potentially sensuous and sensual scene to describe, perhaps someone eating a peach or a tomato, someone shampooing or bathing, someone turning on a water faucet or drinking from a fountain, someone planting bulbs or dancing or making a salad.

For your first draft, describe the scene, first person singular, present tense. The speaker can be you or someone you pretend to be. The action can be real or imagined.

Now let's add some layers to that basic draft. Complete each step before moving on to the next one.

1. Bring in a third character, someone to stand between the speaker and the person doing the action. Rewrite the draft so that your speaker not only describes the action but also observes and describes the new character observing the scene. Stick with first person singular and present tense.

2. Revise using past tense. The scene now becomes a memory.

3. Revise again, this time using first person plural. Who else could be with your speaker? Who else could be with the other observer?

Think about how each revision changes the poem. (For example, the shift in time, from present to past tense, might alter the tone of the poem.) Choose the version you like best and continue to work on that one. But keep all the steps in your arsenal.

One final consideration: Notice how Adele indents every other line. That nicely parallels the back and forth between past and present and between the speaker and the other characters. Aim for a form that enhances meaning.

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“Snake Lady” and the prompt will appear in Diane’s forthcoming book, The Crafty Poet, scheduled for summer 2013 release.

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