Saturday, July 19, 2014

Prompt #192 – In, Above, Beyond: Prepositional Phrases in Poetry


One of the things you’ll hear in poetry workshops is to “cut the clutter” and that too many prepositional phrases can weaken a poem. In poetry, we usually try to eliminate prepositional phrases whenever we can. For example, why write “members of the group” when we can write more simply “group members?”

A preposition shows the relationship between a noun or pronoun and other words in a sentence. The combination of a preposition and a noun phrase is called a prepositional phrase.

Prepositions usually convey these relationships: agency (by); comparison (like, as); direction (to, toward, through); place (at, by, within, beside, on); possession (of); purpose (for); source (from, out of); and time (at, before, on, during).

The combination of a preposition and a noun phrase is called a prepositional phrase. A prepositional phrase consists of a preposition, its object (usually a noun or a pronoun), and any modifiers of the object:

preposition + noun, pronoun, gerund, or clause

preposition + modifier(s) + noun, pronoun, gerund, or clause


Assuming that you’re familiar with prepositional phrases ... and ... without getting into a long grammar lesson, let’s reverse the rule and write poems comprised mainly of prepositional phrases.

Guidelines:

1. Come up with a subject and see how many prepositional phrases you can write that pertain to your subject.

2. Begin putting your phrases into sentences that describe or somehow explain something about your subject.

3. Each line should begin with a prepositional phrase and should include 3-5 additional words.

4. Your poem should contain several prepositional phrases. The challenge is to make some sense of things within your poem—not just a list of unrelated prepositional phrases.

5. Now, and here’s the part about practical application and your writing: look at several poems you’ve written previously and circle the prepositional phrases. Are they all necessary? Can you edit any out?

Tips:

1. A prepositional phrase often appears after the word it modifies:

 A bird from my neighbor’s aviary flew into my back yard.

2. Like adverbs, prepositional phrases that modify verbs can also be found at the beginning or end of a sentence:  

In the afternoon, a bird flew into my yard.

A bird flew into my yard in the afternoon.

3. Here are some commonly used prepositions for you to work with:

aboard
about
above
across
after
against
around
at
before
behind
below
beneath
beside
besides
between
beyond
by
down
during
except
for
from
in
inside
instead of
into
like
near
of
off
on
out
outside
over
past
since
through
throughout
till
to
toward
under
underneath
until
up
upon
with
within
without


Example:

At the Amusement Park

At the amusement park,
beyond the pine trees,
within the crowds,
under the roller coaster,
inside the fortuneteller’s tent,
in the house of mirrors,
over the first grief of loss
but still missing you.



11 comments:

  1. There are many poetry things I have learnt from you, Adele. The elimination of unnecessary prepositional phrases is one of the most impactful suggestions.

    The list of phrases you give in this post is extremely useful. They should serve as radar screens in my future writing.

    Below is an example of a "before and after" poem.


    SEASCAPE

    As the evening approached
    the sandy beach
    we lied down, tired,
    together.

    The ocean in a huge swell
    bundled for me shells, as big
    as your eyes, along
    with its white foam.

    We gazed at the sun that was fading,
    we put on our shoes,
    and buttoned our coats
    to return to the room



    FALL BEACH AT DUSK

    We lied down on the sand
    and the ocean gifted me sea-shells

    the shape of your eyes on its
    white foam. We gazed at the sunset,

    put on our shoes, and buttoned our coats
    for the walk back to the room.

    Basil Rouskas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very interesting, Basil, to see how a poem can change through a process of effective editing. Thanks for sharing with us.

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    2. I would think you might be tired of hearing me caution against too many prepositional phrases, Basil! Only kidding, of course, and I'm glad to know that the "guidance" has been useful to you.

      Thanks for sharing the before and the after with us—it provides a wonderful example of what can be done during editing.

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  2. Great exercise, Adele, for becoming more aware of those pesky prepositional phrases! I especially like the "practical application" part.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jamie! Great way to put it: "those pesky prepositional phrases."

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  3. Hi Adele, thanks for another great idea! I've given it a try. Hope you like it.

    Kathy Shaw

    FOR LOVE

    Out of the usual place,
    with the man in the moon
    (over the clouds, into the stars),
    into a celestial experience —
    shall we say, “This is for love?”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kathy,

      Thanks so much for sharing your Ronka! Love it!

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  4. Hi Adele! super helpful blog post, just came across your blog :)
    and a really cool idea for playing around with structure and poetry!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Mariam, so nice to meet you here on the blog. I'm happy to know that you found the prompt helpful. Hope you'll be a frequent visitor!

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  5. I rarely post here, Adele, but I appreciate your prompts very much. I've written several "keepers" that were prompted by you. Thank you!

    Here is a poem that seems to fit this prompt. Even though it was written a while ago and is already pupblished (Shadow Road Quarterly), I hope you're OK with me posting it here - just for the fun of sharing poetry.

    This Is the Knowing

    Cheeks flush pomegranate red
    upon embers - this is the knowing
    that eventually everything ends badly.
    Still, there’s a welcoming of the wet
    taste of raspberry against my tongue.

    Fingers lace saltwater gray
    between damp - this is the knowing
    that eventually everything turns tepid.
    Still, there’s an easy sway to the talk
    on the scaly brown boardwalk.

    Lungs inhale thick sticky black
    against rot - this is the knowing
    that eventually everything is a suffocation.
    Still, there’s a strange steady rhythm
    to this sharing a blanket each night.

    Minds race cold paisley and blue
    upon ice - this is the knowing
    that eventually everything grows gone.
    Still, there’s unlocking my eyes in the dark
    and seeing the absence of being unknown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your comment, poem, and kind words, Danny.

      I'm so glad to know that some of the prompts have been helpful. Please feel free to post any time! There's always a sense of fun and mutual purpose when we share our poems, so please, share with us again!

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